The Distorted Mirror
by FemaleSpock
Summary: There's something that Morgana really dislikes about Lancelot. Contains references to Merlin/Lancelot, Arthur/Lancelot, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/Merlin, Morgana/Arthur, Morgana/Gwen.


Distorted reflection

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin and I make no money from this fic.**

**This fic is set immediately after Lancelot leaves Camelot. **

And so Lancelot left Camelot. Morgana saw Gwen looking wistfully out of the window looking sorry to see Lancelot go and Morgana couldn't help but feel glad that Lancelot had gone. She set Gwen to work to stop her from brooding and help take her mind off him.

Morgana wasn't sure what it was about Lancelot that irritated her so much, she hadn't even spoken to him and he had done nothing to her that could warrant such annoyance towards him.

Perhaps it was something about the way he charms everyone he meets. Merlin, Arthur and even Gwen fell under his spell. Merlin had been following him around like a love sick puppy, helping him get noticed by Arthur as a night, and Morgana suspected that Merlin had something to do with the fake seal. Then there was Arthur, he was willing to risk punishment from the king to set him free, then he was so insistent that Lancelot become a knight. Not to mention all the flirting they were doing at that feast. Lastly there was Gwen, who seemed to be half in love with Lancelot, even though she had known him but a few days.

Not to mention that he had got Uther to change his mind. Uther, possibly the most stubborn person that ever walked the Earth, changed his mind for Lancelot. It probably wasn't his fault, but it was so annoying. Morgana didn't even really get how he did it either. I mean he was good looking and all but not outstandingly so. True he was a good fighter, but there were many of those in Camelot. Personally Morgana just couldn't see the appeal.

As the day went by, she could see that everyone was still moping about Lancelot leaving. Arthur was pulling that sulky face that he used when he didn't get his own way. Merlin looked sad and disappointed. Gwen seemed to be daydreaming about him whilst doing her work.

After a while Morgana just didn't feel she could take it anymore. She had to go and vent her annoyance so she went to see the only person who didn't seem to be under Lancelot's spell: Gaius.

Gaius was reading what looked like some sort of science textbook but he looked up as soon as Morgana entered the room.

"What can I do for you Morgana?" he asked in that kind, fatherly voice.

"Well, we need someone to talk some sense into Gwen, Merlin and Arthur; they are all so preoccupied with Lancelot leaving."

"They'll be fine in a day or two, they just need some time."

"Seriously! They've known him for all of two days! What's so special about Lancelot?" she said letting some of her frustration spill into her voice.

"I'm sensing that you don't like Lancelot."

"Well," Morgana said looking down "yes, I don't know why but there's something I just don't like about him."

"You know, what people usually dislike about other people is usually what they dislike about themselves, think on that," Gaius said wisely and returned to work.

As she left the room the thoughts started flooding in. She wasn't like Lancelot was she? She definitely wasn't. She kept reassuring herself that she had nothing in common with him.

Except...well Merlin had had a crush on her apparently when he had first met him. Other people said that Arthur was definitely in love with her. But it wasn't proven. And of course there was always Gwen, her sweet Gwen... But that didn't make her anything like him. So what if some people happened to like her...and that she was one of the few people who could stand up to Uther.

She sighed and went into her room. She was starting to feel that perhaps Gaius was right (as usual), perhaps what she hated about herself was what she hated about Lancelot. Sometimes she just didn't understand why people liked her so much. She looks in the mirror and sees her reflection staring back at her, in Morgana's opinion she is not so beautiful, all her looks are a product of hours of meticulous grooming. Unlike Gwen, whose beauty was completely natural. She wasn't that special. Just like Lancelot she was an ordinary person who just seemed to attract people for no apparent reason.

Sometimes she just hated herself. She hated having to always look the part of King's ward. She hated that she always pretended to be so self confident and flirtatious when she had so many doubts.

Like her dreams. They weren't ordinary dreams, she knew this, but she didn't want to even allow herself to think what they might be. She doesn't want to even allow that shadow of a thought that she may have some sort of power to invade her mind. She hates the dreams, so many people know about her bad dreams, so many people know of her weakness. She doesn't want to be vulnerable. Not ever again; not since her parent died.

With this she feels her irritation for Lancelot lessen, he is a kindred spirit, and it's not him she hates. It's just that when she looks at him she sees herself. He acts as a distorted reflection that she never wanted to see.

**The end! I'm not sure how well this came out so please review and tell me, constructive critism is welcomed!**


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